Up North ~ Life in Minnesota

Nintendo’s got my back

It’s been many a year since I’ve cared about video game systems, or games in general. Either I’ve truly gotten too old, or the state of gaming has taken a serious nosedive. The good folks at Nintendo seem to feel the latter is true (although I am getting old). With their new console—the Wii—Nintendo hopes to refocus attention on game-play and simple fun. So, much to my wife’s dismay, I was returned to a childlike state of intense anticipation, waiting impatiently for the Wii’s launch day, November 19.

Want one? Think again

A thick cloud of hype typically engulfs any console launch. Gaming companies vigorously jockey for the most impressive media blitzkrieg by artificially creating a situation whereby people must, quite literally, embark upon a medieval-style siege in order to get their hands on a new system. While millions of units sit idly in some cozy warehouse, people in Minnesota are forced to stand in line, outside, in the frosty coolness of November, to await what could potentially, maybe, perhaps be a somewhat slim chance to possibly, inconceivably outrun a feral pack of 60 parent-less teenagers. Despite the fun inherent with such a scenario, I chose instead to take my chances competing with thousands of still-ferocious, but somewhat sleep-deprived teens at Amazon.com.

Late night turns late morning

Like everyone else that signed up for the convenient Amazon e-mail notification, I had recently received a message that informed me of the Wii’s ever-so-brief availability for the morning of Sunday, November 19, Pacific Standard Time. At 2 a.m. Sunday morning (12 a.m. on the west coast) I was wide awake, fingers tensed, mouse at the ready. I had assumed, like everyone else, that morning meant morning. The time immediately following 11:59 p.m. Unfortunately, that was not to be the case. 3 a.m. came and went. People started getting a little crazy, and the complaints and theories started to fly. Someone postulated, “Maybe they’re waiting for Hawaii to hit midnight?” At that late hour, this somehow made complete sense. I set my alarm to awake me two hours later.

Luckless and pathetic

As I sluggishly averted my eyes from the sudden brightness that came from my monitor as it flickered out of sleep mode (something I was still struggling to do), I caught the briefest glimpse of the clock before being temporarily blinded. It was several minutes after 5 a.m., and I was so confident of the Hawaii time zone logic that I began to silently curse myself for oversleeping. I refreshed the still-open Amazon window and was greeted with the same message: “This item is currently not available.” Well darn. I figured I would give them a few minutes to get caught up with the rest of the world. Still nothing. A few more minutes turned into an hour. Finally, I had a slivery-short moment of self-realization and saw myself as the pitiful, wretched lump-of-man that I had truly become. I quickly scurried off to bed, but not before clicking refresh a few more times.

Some sleep, but no Wii

At 8 a.m. I was jostled awake by my wife. She very graciously informed me that the aforementioned message hadn’t changed. Much later, I awoke naturally, somewhat reinvigorated. When I casually ignored breakfast and the usual exchange of morning pleasantries with the family in lieu of the office, my desk, and Amazon, I was still quite buoyant. That optimism was soon replaced with disgruntlement upon discovering that sometime after 8 a.m. Amazon had sold a few Wiis, and had officially closed my window of opportunity.

Amazon botches launch

Now this isn’t the story of one whining, pudgy computer guy desperately trying to recapture some of the sprightliness and youthful enthusiasm of days gone by. Although that would be, as Fox News claims, a fair and balanced assessment, it’s more accurately the story of a company in need of some guidance. A company that disregards consumer loyalty, and flagrantly, recklessly, creates situations that both inflame and destroy the passions of countless potential shoppers. Coming from a family of small business owners, it especially irks me to see a company of Amazon’s near-limitless resources willfully mislead those it relies upon.

Help me out

Today, teens across America will sit in their beanbags, video chairs, and castoff sofas playing the Nintendo Wii while I write a scathing, somewhat unfair, and often meandering condemnation of Amazon and the commercialization of America. Despite my penchant for self-righteous, incoherent rants, I’d be willing to recant everything if someone would just please sell me a Wii.